The Dare
by Obi the Kid
Summary: Pre-TPM, Obi is 13. He takes a dare. Strange things happen.


TITLE: The Dare  
AUTHOR: Obi the Kid (hlnkid@aol.com)  
RATING: PG  
SUMMARY: Pre-TPM, Obi is 13. He takes a dare.  
ARCHIVE: If you REALLY want to, please ask me first.  
FEEDBACK Sure!!  
MY WEBSITE: http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/  
DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.  
  
NOTES: A HUGE thank you to Brenda for providing the bunny and the inspiration for this story. This story would not have been possible if not for the brilliant, yet modest conversations that we have! And also thanks to the TPM Ramblers for all the insanity!  
  
WARNING: There are a large number of inside jokes on this one, but it's a fun read anyway!  
  
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The Dare  
==========  
  
  
"Come on Kenobi, admit it, you're scared. Just say it." Obi-Wan shook his head as Reeft continued his tormenting. Garen stood close by, laughing. "I dare you, no...WE dare you to go into the catacombs under the Temple. Only the bravest Jedi go down there. Garen and I did last year, and lived to tell about it. We won't say anything to your master, don't worry. We'll cover for ya."  
  
"Don't be scared Kenobi, nothing down there that can hurt ya. Reeft wouldn't lie to you, would he? It's a dare; you can't refuse a dare...can you? You'd be the laughing stock of the padawans. And besides...this would be a good way to show Master Qui-Gon how brave you are. I think you'd really impress him." Garen's words were eating at thirteen year old Obi-Wan Kenobi. He wanted to make his master proud of him, and he could definitely NOT allow himself to be the laughing stock of the Temple. Reluctantly, he took the dare.  
  
"Okay, I'll do it. I'm not afraid of anything down there. I've heard the stories, but that's just what they are, stories. It's not like the old Bantha graveyard or anything, it's just some old tunnels under the Temple." The boy stood tall as his friends smiled at him. "When should I go?"  
  
The other boys shouted in unison. "NOW!"  
  
But Obi-Wan was leery of heading down there just yet. It would be dark in a couple hours and his master would expect him home for dinner. "Maybe tomorrow. It's getting late. I don't think..."  
  
Reeft stepped forward. "Now, now Obi. You don't need your master's permission to do this. You are a full fledged Jedi Apprentice after all. Go on, we'll be around to fend off any questions about where you might be."  
  
Looking confused, yet determined, Obi-Wan nodded. "Okay. I'm going. Do I need to take a light with me?"  
  
Garen gave a slight shake of the head. "Nope. You'll be able to see enough for your purposes. See ya later Kenobi."  
  
===============  
  
Kenobi began his trek to the lower levels of the Temple. Once there, he found the hidden door that Reeft had told him about, and quietly squeezed through. He walked for at least thirty minutes before a horrible, foul-smelling odor permeated his senses.   
  
"Ugh...yuck...what is that?" His foot began to sink into what felt like quicksand. Slightly panicked, Obi-Wan fought to pull his foot free, only to find his boot covered in a fluorescent green slime. "Oh no, these are my new boots. Master Qui-Gon is gonna kill me." Continuing on, he found the source of the odor. A small stream he had been following had lead him to a river. This underground river was covered with a brown foam that carried with it debris of all kinds. A round object that was bobbing up and down caught his eye as it floated with the current. Obi-Wan blinked several times to clear the water from his eyes. "No, that's not...it couldn't be. Why would something like that be in the river? Oh no...I think it is. This is some kind of sick joke that Reeft and Garen are playing on me. It's got hair on it too...REEFT? I am gonna kill you the next time I see you...you too Garen."  
  
Obi-Wan tried to turn back, but the hill he had come down was coated in the same slime that was still hugging his boot. He had to follow the tunnel to the end to find his way out. "I am never taking a dare from them again." He marched on.  
  
Stopping to rest, he put his hand on the closest wall. He felt what seemed to be carvings of some kind. As his eyes adjusted to the current light level, he could make out several depictions of men going about their day. The only abnormality was that they were lacking in a particular body part. "They have no heads!! Wait...they are missing their heads, and what just floated down that nasty river? This is insane." Looking further still, he saw that there were many similar drawings all along the wall. In one area, there was a small headless man sitting under a tree. Next to him, was a woman with wonderfully long, blonde hair. The scene seemed to play out like a romantic setting under a Weeping Pharnox tree, on a beautiful day. The boy had heard of such visions, but had never appreciated one. Obi-Wan reached up to wipe a tear from his eye. "That is so beautiful. She befriended one of the headless men...sniff."  
  
Obi-Wan moved on. His mind at peace after seeing such a heart warming site. Just ahead, he spotted an eerie glowing light. It flickered several times before the young Jedi located it's source. From behind a small rock, several larger crystals converged to produce a brilliant blue light. Suddenly however, Obi-Wan felt an peculiar fear come over him. His legs began to shake, and his hands trembled. "This is...s..stupid. It's j..just a l..light. How can I...be..be scared of it? K..keep mm..movin Obi. D..don't let it get to you."  
  
When finally he was out of site of the sapphire gleam, he was no worse for the wear. And then he heard the voices, and his breath began to quicken. It was then that he finally realized how badly he needed to use the bathroom. As the voices began, his feet started to dance.   
  
**Let me ouuuuuuut of hereeeeeeee. You cannot hold me in thissss booooooooox. I will seeeek my revenge on youuuuuuuuu. Bluuuuuuw woooooool man must dieeeeeeee. The kow will be there sooooooon to destroy youuuuuuuuu.**  
  
"Who is that? Who's there?" Then another voice sounded.  
  
**Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!**  
  
And another.  
  
**Destroy you all an take over I will, hmmmmm? Make fun of my ears, you will not. Watch your head spin will I? Troll of the Sith I am. Kneel before me you will.**  
  
**Will you beeee my frennnnnnnnnnn? I luvvvv youuuuuu HQ.**  
  
Others followed as Obi-Wan's pp dance continued.  
  
**Hereeeeeee let me fix this for youuuuuuuuuuuu**  
  
**Dieeeee Sith bridesssssss...dieeeeeeee...dieeeeeeee...dieeeeeeee**  
  
**This is CNN.**  
  
**Hello and welcome to China. My name is Chin and this my family. My wife Neck and my son, Noodles. Oh and this is my curious cousin. We just call him Wuuuuuuuu.**  
  
"Shut up!!!! Stop talkin to me!! Go away!!! Oh Force, I have got to GO. Can't go down here...ohhhhhh...ugh...hold it Obi...hold it. The Force will guide you." Obi-Wan was beginning to freak out, just a tad.  
  
**We have a report of a mad dog, driving a Honda speeder, terrorizing farms across the southern part of the city. He is being chased by a man calling himself DUG. Kows everywhere are being warned to get the hell out of the way.**  
  
**Am I bothering youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu?**  
  
**I am da bushhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.**  
  
**Welcome baaaaaaaaack. We missssssed youuuuuuuu. Flowerrrrrrrrrrrrsssssss.**  
  
**THUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD**  
  
"STOPPP IT!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!" The boy took off running from the voices as they echoed off the walls. He ran as hard as he could, not mindful of where he was going.   
  
He saw the river before him and as he went to stop, he slid. There was a huge SPLASH and the brown river claimed him as it's own. Obi-Wan thrashed about as the stench overwhelmed him. "Sith! Sith! Sith! If I can just grab that rock there." As the boy fought the rivers currents, he realized that the river was just a few feet deep. He stood for a brief moment. Then repulsed in disgust. "OH FORCE!!!" Mud spiders, commonly referred to as Stuckys were grabbing at his feet and legs, trying to pull him under. "NO!! Get off of me! This is nuts. How could I have been so stupid as to come down here? OW! Little blood suckers hurt. Master warned me about you guys. Stuckys are evil Sith beings who have no place in this world. Let me think...okay, the only way to get rid of them it by Roman Candle. Oh, this is good. Where do I find a Roman Candle down here?"  
  
Obi-Wan continued to be dragged down the river. He was fighting the flow and the snapping Stucky spiders at the same time. The effort was exhausting. Then, as quickly as the Stuckys began to attack, they stopped. The Jedi looked across the water to the far wall of the tunnel. Tens of blue lines paralleled the walls, running for hundreds of feet. It was those lines that terrified the spiders beyond belief. They let go of the padawan's legs and buried themselves in the mud. The blue lines were hypnotizing the young Jedi. He had had enough of this adventure, but he was lost as to what to do. So, he did the only thing he could think of. //Master? Help me. Please.//  
  
//Obi-Wan, where are you? Are you okay?//  
  
//I'm not hurt master, but I do have a problem and I have to PEE. Please help me. I've never had to go this bad.//  
  
//Where are you?//  
  
The connection was cut when the river washed the boy into a dark cave.  
  
//Obi-Wan? Padawan?// "Damn, who was he with last? Reeft will know where he is." Qui-Gon found Reeft and Garen in the gym. He approached them.   
  
Reeft was nervous. "Master Jinn sir. Good to see you."  
  
"Thank you Reeft, have you seen my apprentice? He called me a few minutes ago asking for help, but our link was cut before he could tell me where he was. Do you know?"  
  
"Well, I..uh..I..." Garen kicked him.   
  
"Tell him Reeft. You started this whole thing. Before Obi gets hurt."  
  
"Reeft, should Obi-Wan get hurt, and you are involved..." Qui-Gon stood over the boy, peering down at him.  
  
"Okay, we kinda dared him to visit the catacombs under the Temple. That's where he is. We didn't mean for anything to happen to him Master Jinn, honest. It was just a dare." Reeft was fidgeting horribly. The tall master lay a hand on his shoulder.   
  
"Relax Reeft. He said he was fine. Will you students ever learn? I want you and Garen to go to your masters, tell them what has happened, and where I am going. Should I not return in two hours, have them take appropriate action. And whatever you do, do NOT tell Master Yoda."  
  
"Yes Master Jinn. We will go now."  
  
=============  
  
Below the Temple, the river had brought Obi-Wan to the drab cave. Images of bearded men carrying yellow robes began flashing on the walls. Another image of old, gray-haired men in yellow thongs flickered through the cave. Then all was still. "Master is going to send me away for this. I can see it now. Why did I do this??? Why?? Smart Kenobi, real smart. You've only been his apprentice for ten months, and you do this. He's gonna think I'm an idiot. I think I'm an idiot."   
  
The river current began flowing again. When it stopped, Obi-Wan was able to pull himself out of the murky water. "FORCE!!! I smell like Bantha...oh no, my new tunic is ruined. Mud in my braid. Spider in my pants? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Get out, get out, get out....ahhhhhhhhh...get off of meeee." Flicking the spider from his clothes, he lifted his foot to squash it, when he heard a voice.   
  
**Do not do that.**  
  
"Huh? Who's there?"  
  
A floating figure of a large stripped fish, with massive bubble eyes appeared in front of the boy.   
  
**I am MBE. You may call me Mr. Bubble Eyes. Do not kill that Stucky. He meant you no harm. Let him be.**  
  
"Whatever. It's a Sith, and it must die. Hey, I remember you. You died in Bant's fish tank, and she put you in the freezer."  
  
**I was not dead. She murdered me. Now, I will haunt your dreamsssssssss. Looook into my eyesssssss.**  
  
"Look fish...I am in NO mood to play games with you. I can't find my way out of here, I stink, and I have to pee like a racehorse. Back off!!!!"  
  
**Look into the eyesssssss....mmmmmmmm...I seeee youuuuuuuuuu.**  
  
SQUASH!!!! "To late Bubbles. Stucky is dead. And I have to get out of here. Bye."  
  
Obi-Wan left the area and followed the tunnel until he came face to face with that looked like...an older version of himself? He shook his head, trying to make the image to away. It didn't work. Not only was this man an older Kenobi, but he has the strangest blue eyes Obi-Wan had ever seen. The man stared at him. **Helllloooooo. I am AEO. You did not appreciate the eyes of the fish, perhaps you will appreciate mine. Loooook into themmmmm. Seeeee how bluuuuu they areeeeeee? I want to beee yourrrrrr frennnnnnnnn. Take my hand. Follow the bluuuuuuu with meeeeeee.**  
  
"No way!! You have no eyelids!! Freaky. Get away!! Don't touch me!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MASTERRRRRRRRRRRRR?"  
  
Running as fast as he could, Obi-Wan felt footsteps behind him, but refused to look back. He ran for several minutes. Then..."Ooof." He looked up to find Qui-Gon Jinn standing there in front of him gasping for breath.   
  
"MASTER!! Thank the Force. Get that man away from me. He's chasing meeeeeee."  
  
Gathering himself, "Obi-Wan there is no one following you. And if there was he was probably trying to avoid the smell. What have you been into?"  
  
"Noooo..he's after me. And the voices too. They were talking to me. Then the bluuu lines and the Stucky's. Headless men wandering the caves, carvings of them wearing yellow underwear. And the river...heads floating in it. They stare at me as they float away. This place is haunted master...get me out of here...please. Let's go...hurry. I hear them coming for me now. Don't look into his eyes master...NO! DON'T!!! Master, come on...hurry...they are after me. I need to find a bathroom, and fast. I can't dance like this forever."  
  
By now, Qui-Gon had begun thinking that his apprentice had lost touch with reality. He saw no strange eyes, nor did he hear any voices. The only thing he saw, or smelled, was the boy himself. His once tan colored tunic, was now a hideous shade of brown. His oiled boots, nothing but green slime. The short padawan braid, covered in brown chunks, and stuck to the boy's neck. Even his hair was a mess, having been decorated with some type of yellow seaweed.   
  
"Padawan, calm down, you and I are the only ones here. And I will not let anyone harm you. Come with me, you need to get cleaned up." Qui-Gon went to wrap an arm around the young apprentice, but decided against it. //I've never smelled anything so foul in all my life.//  
  
"You hate me know, I can tell. Reeft and Garen, I will get them for this." Obi-Wan was becoming furious as the pair entered the lift that would take them to their apartment.  
  
Struggling to hold back his laughter, Qui-Gon bit his lower lip. "While they are partially responsible, you too must take the blame. You did not have to take the dare. You could have walked away. If you had done so, you wouldn't be spending the next three hours in the shower."  
  
He hung his head. "I know, I was stupid. But is was a dare master. I can't just sit there and let them think that I'm afraid of a things like this."  
  
"But you are."  
  
"Yes, I know that."  
  
"So, what did you prove?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Learned a lesson you have?"  
  
"You sound like Master Yoda. Yes, I have learned my lesson. Master, are you laughing at me?"  
  
"No...pa...padawan. I am...simply...uh...um..."  
  
"This is not funny master. Look at me? LOOK!!!"  
  
"Yes, I see you. And I smell you. I should take you to the gym showers and hose you down. I don't think you can come into our quarters like that. You may stain the carpet, and the chairs and couch, and the tub, and...." Qui-Gon was laughing almost hysterically now.  
  
"I get the point master. No need to continue. You know you shouldn't laugh at your padawan. It's bad for his self-esteem."  
  
Still laughing. "True, but you deserve it. You look like a rat that's been playing in the sewer."  
  
"Master?"  
  
"Hahaha...no...wait...oh...hahahahaahah...noooooo...hahaahaha."  
  
"Master, I HAVE TO PEEEEEEEE!!! Stop laughing!!! You are not helping matters."  
  
"Hahahha...you're dancing!! I've never seen you do that before. Hahahhaa...you're so cute! Hahahaaha...no...that's not funny...oh wait...yes it is...hahahaahah."  
  
The lift stopped on Level U2 and Obi-Wan began running for home. "Obi-Wan, I am warning you, DO NOT walk on that carpet."  
  
"How do I get in the bathroom? Masterrrrrrr."  
  
The boy stopped outside the door. "Wait there. Okay, strip down to your underwear. Leave your tunics out here."  
  
"No master. I can't undress in the hall. People will talk about me."  
  
"You want a cold gym hose down or hot steaming bath?" The apprentice started losing the clothing.  
  
"Don't look master. Jeez, give me a little dignity."  
  
"Obi-Wan what are you wearing?"  
  
"Shorts."  
  
"And what color are they?"  
  
"Um, pink. They were a gift master, okay?"  
  
"From who?" Stifling a laugh.  
  
"Master Sio. She said..."  
  
"Oh, I see. This is her revenge on me for...Obi-Wan, please do not wear pink boxers anymore. Okay?"  
  
"Okay master. Can I go inside now? Pleaaaaaaseeeeeeeeee? I'm gonna dance again."  
  
"Yes, go please."  
  
Obi-Wan ran into the bathroom, slammed the door, and the dancing stopped. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."  
  
From the common area, Qui-Gon yelled to him. "Shower padawan...NOW!"   
  
"Yes master, whatever you say master. Oh wow, that felt good."  
  
When the student exited the bathroom, he looked as good as new. Qui-Gon had set some clean clothes out for him, and he looked like a different boy.  
  
"Master, what should I do with my other clothes?" Opening the door, Obi-Wan starred down at where he had left his clothes. "Um...master? Can you come here for a minute?"  
  
Qui-Gon stood next to his apprentice. "What is it padawan?"  
  
"Look."  
  
There, on the floor in the hall, were what was left of Obi-Wan's soiled clothes. They had an bizarre green glow around them, and were being dissolved into the carpet. A queer sizzling sound echoed in the halls.  
  
Placing a hand around the smaller shoulders of the boy, the tall master glanced quickly around the hall, then pulled his student inside. "Let's just forget that we saw that."  
  
"Saw what master?"  
  
"Exactly. Let's go see if Master Bren is home, I don't think we should hang around this apartment to much tonight. You may end up as part of the carpet."  
  
"That would be bad."  
  
"Yes, you could say that."  
  
END  
  



End file.
